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SCREEN WRITING CLASS - MODULE 5


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#41 aroundworld

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Posted 13 October 2012 - 12:38 PM

[quote name='kkffoo' post='94625' date='Oct 5 2012, 10:59 AM']ACT I

BEAT 1.
We meet your character

Darlington Medway
Rain lashed busy roadside. Ancient fiat tempo parked at crazy angle half on verge, hazard lights flash. Darlington exits car, newspaper over head, half crawls up muddy bank, holds phone aloft searching for signal.


DARLINGTON MEDWAY, 30, exits his ancient fiat and crawls up the muddy bank of a busy roadside, holding his cell phone aloft to get a signal.

Always introduce your character in CAPS when we first meet them. smile.gif

When doing BEATS to map out your story, it's ok to leave out details as I did in the re-write of your scene. In a professional setting, you always want to communicate the core of the scene in brief, tight visual language.

Ultimately you decide how you're going to communicate your scene, but in the industry this is what they look for in scene beats.




There is no try, only do or do not.

 

Learn story telling in the MOVIESTORM education forum. 

 

START HERE:  http://www.moviestor...showtopic=13153


#42 aroundworld

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Posted 13 October 2012 - 01:07 PM

[quote name='squirrelygirl' date='Oct 6 2012, 05:51 AM' post='94636']
ACT I

BEAT 1.
We meet your character

Calvin Hobbs shows his newest invention, an elaborate machine attached to a hamster cage that turns used paper into hamster bedding, to his daughter. The machine backfires and tries to suck the hamster out of the cage.

CALVIN HOBBS, 54, and his daughter watch, as his latest invention turns old newspaper into hamster bedding. The machine backfires and the hamster's nearly sucked from the cage.


Always introduce your characters in CAPS. I didn't do so with his daughter because you didn't name her. Also, notice where I placed the daughter. I left out some minor details. In scene beats you can be less descriptive as long as you communicate the heart of the scene; The connecting point that will move the story forward and help your next plot point make sense.




There is no try, only do or do not.

 

Learn story telling in the MOVIESTORM education forum. 

 

START HERE:  http://www.moviestor...showtopic=13153


#43 aroundworld

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Posted 13 October 2012 - 01:24 PM

[quote name='JosephKw' date='Oct 7 2012, 06:30 AM' post='94652']
ACT I

BEAT 1.
We meet your character

TV Host John and cameraman Gary prepare to film an interview with Mel Ein. Dominique, Mel Ein's secretary, clad in tight black leather coldly admits them to see Mel Ein, 65.



The first time we meet your characters, always introduce them in CAPS. Well done!




There is no try, only do or do not.

 

Learn story telling in the MOVIESTORM education forum. 

 

START HERE:  http://www.moviestor...showtopic=13153


#44 kkffoo

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Posted 14 October 2012 - 08:27 AM

Nuance, I think it may take some practice to make it stick!

DARLINGTON MEDWAY, 40, exits her ancient fiat and crawls up the muddy bank of a busy roadside, holding her cell phone aloft to get a signal.



#45 aroundworld

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Posted 14 October 2012 - 12:17 PM

QUOTE (kkffoo @ Oct 14 2012, 08:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nuance, I think it may take some practice to make it stick!

DARLINGTON MEDWAY, 40, exits her ancient fiat and crawls up the muddy bank of a busy roadside, holding her cell phone aloft to get a signal.


YES! smile.gif

This scene already tells me she's "parked her car on the verge". You didn't have to write it! smile.gif YOU IMPLIED or SUGGESTED IT (NUANCE), by merely writing, "busy roadside".

This technique is important because once you learn it, you'll begin to write fewer words and communicate a scene with more impact.

There is a balance between more and fewer words, but you'll only know what that is by practicing/writing.
smile.gif


Lets take it a step further:

[color="#000000"] "DARLINGTON MEDWAY, 40, exits her"


I know the character is middle aged and female.

"ancient fiat"

I know it's beat up old car.


crawls up the muddy bank of a busy roadside


This gives me a sense that it must be wet, damp weather, and where she's parked her car.

holding her cell phone aloft to get a signal.


This tells me that taking the time to get muddy on a busy road side to make a phone call must be pretty important!

Every image in this scene adds up to URGENCY. You've told the audience THIS IS AN IMPORTANT PHONE CALL, and you did it WITH OUT WRITING A PARAGRAPH! biggrin.gif



There is no try, only do or do not.

 

Learn story telling in the MOVIESTORM education forum. 

 

START HERE:  http://www.moviestor...showtopic=13153


#46 aroundworld

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Posted 17 October 2012 - 01:52 AM

Are there any questions about what we've covered in this module, anything you want to go over before we move on?

There is no try, only do or do not.

 

Learn story telling in the MOVIESTORM education forum. 

 

START HERE:  http://www.moviestor...showtopic=13153


#47 squirrelygirl

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Posted 17 October 2012 - 03:35 AM

I'm good. smile.gif

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#48 kkffoo

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Posted 17 October 2012 - 06:57 AM

Yes please.

#49 aroundworld

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Posted 17 October 2012 - 11:06 AM

This concludes MODULE 5

There is no try, only do or do not.

 

Learn story telling in the MOVIESTORM education forum. 

 

START HERE:  http://www.moviestor...showtopic=13153



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