In our writing, (screen writing), we need to show the scene by IMPLICATION. Joseph provided a great example here by using the word "Coldly". It wasn't necessary to take up valuable line space by using more words to describe her emotional state, one word said it all.
This is the heart of the beat exercise, and one I hope you guys will use in your future writing endeavors.
Obviously there are times one word won't be as vivid as three...etc. But It's important to make that distinction.
We meet your character
TV Host John and cameraman Gary prepare to film an interview with Mel Ein. Dominique, Mel Ein's secretary, clad in tight black leather coldly admits them to see Mel Ein, 65.Great opening. Suspect AW would want some example instead of coldly...she avoids their eyes? snaps the door open and shut?This is a good observation Kate. When doing scene beats, it's best to keep them brief as Joseph has done here. What he did was IMPLY a visual by giving us one word that captured her demeanor.
By using the word "Coldly" we can imagine her avoiding their eyes or snapping the door open and shut. This allows us to write vivid word scenes that the imagination can turn into images.
Your character has a minor interruption BUT THEY LEARN SOMETHING HERE that saves them in ACT III
The interview focuses on the opening of Mel Ein's new venture, Purgatory Park. Mel Ein eagerly tries to find the concept drawings for the park, but Dominique "lost" them. Mel Ein is unfazed, which makes Dominique scowl even more than usual.Scene creates tension between the characters, and interest around the planned park. How do we see that Dominique has 'lost' the drawings? Maybe she tucks them out of sight somewhere?
Absolutely! The scene creates AUDIENCE EXPECTATION ("interest around the planned park")
"How do we see that Dominique has 'lost' the drawings?"
Good point! In a scene beat exercise like we're doing here (MAPPING OUT THE MAIN PLOT POINTS)
You could either show this in a beat, or do as Joseph did by merely mentioning it so he can expand on it later in the outline. This is up to the writer. My preference is to keep it brief and concise and expand on it later.
PLOT POINT I (inciting incident)
Your character now has a major interruption of routine that changes their life.
Dominique makes a few phone calls to Mel Ein's creditors as Mel Ein prepares to officially open the gates to Purgatory Park. The creditors arrive and Dominique gazes intently at Mel Ein, but Mel is unfazed and confidently gives his speech. Dominique frowns in disappointment.
Your character is reeling from the major event, but manages to catch their breath and try to understand the new situation.
The creditors, some with court judgments, demand that Mel Ein sell off his park to pay his debts. John and Gary capture the embarrassing documents on camera.
FIRST TURN AROUND
Your character faces the enemy, or almost gets caught or nearly gets killed...etc. But through this experience. he/she meets their ally, and together they think of a strategy to win.
Mel Ein tries to pay some petty cash to the creditors to appease them, but they want their entire payment plus interest. Mel asks John and Gary to help, promising them shares in the park if they can stave off the creditors long enough for the park to make a profit and start paying off the debts. John and Gary agree.
SECOND TURN AROUND
They face the enemy together (or what ever you story is) and confidently fight, but the enemy is stronger/smarter than they assumed. They're captured or separated (fill in the blank) but defeat seems inevitable and they're crushed.
John and Gary suggests that Mel Ein show the creditors the potential of the park, and this initially seems to work. The creditors are impressed until Dominique drops some papers in front of them revealing the massive expenses to operate the facility. The creditors doubt a profit can be made and decide a forced sale of the park is best for their interests. Mel Ein remains expressionless, which irks Dominique.
PLOT POINT 2 (rise of the hero)
Your character's find away of escape, but are discovered. Almost killed (what ever supports your story).
The battle/chase ??? is on!!!!!
John challenges the creditors; he will bet his shares of the park against the creditors that the majority of the park's patrons are satisfied and will return with friends or relatives--which will prove the park will be lucrative and worthy of a long-term investment (as opposed to a forced sales of the assets). The creditors risk nothing, so they accept. Dominique overhears this and does her best to ruin the park patrons' experience.
Your character's are in a race to survive. The enemy is strong but the hero's have figured it out and work their plan. The plan fail's! The way of escape is blocked, but they fight. They fight and almost lose, but then a character REMEMBERS WHAT THEY LEARNED IN ACT I, and it saves the day. The enemy is vanquished.
Dominique is nefarious in sabotaging the park, and many patrons are displeased; the poll being taken by the creditors show most patrons will not return. John realizes Dominique's goal is to make Mel Ein upset so he devises a plan.
Maybe one of your characters is wounded and dies, maybe they realize something about life. But the resolution typically answers a question brought forth in the film. Maybe they realize they love each other, or someone else.
It's up to you. BUT PLEASE, SHOW US HOW YOUR CHARACTER HAS CHANGED, GROWN...etc.
Mel sets fire to a small section of the park and cries in tears because he did not buy fire insurance--Dominique finally smiles watching Mel writhe in pain, and stops sabotaging the park. The polls start showing positive results for satisfied customers. The creditors allow Mel Ein to continue operating the park with an installment payment plan.
Your characters return (or not) to their former lives.
A year later Mel Ein is in his office watching his beloved park from the window. John and Gary give orders down below, managing the park, especially to Dominique, who works in the "House Of Pain" maze as the dominatrix. She smiles happily.