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SCREEN WRITING CLASS MODULE 7


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#21 JosephKw

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 10:53 AM

Glad to be back smile.gif Ok, I'm giving this a shot through memory alone. Please correct me if I'm wrong, as usual (I mean the correcting part and not necessarily the being wrong part).

What is an INTERRUPTION TO ROUTINE, why is it used? The ITR is used to show something has occurred which drastically changes the protagonist's life. It's used to grab the audience's attention and make them worry about how this will all be resolved. It starts the adventure.

What is the PLANT AND PAY OFF, why is it used? The PAPO is introducing something to the audience (it could be an object, or even an idea such as the need for balance in nature [yin and yang]), and then later having our protagonist (or another character) use this object or knowledge in resolve an issue. This provides an "aha!" moment for the audience. It also makes the solution to the issue seem less contrived. For example, if Obi-Wan did not show us what a light saber was and suddenly used this weird device in the cantina, some might think "how convenient" or "where did that come from", and "what the heck is it?" The use of the lightsaber raises more questions and distracts the audience in what should've been an "aha" moment.

AUDIENCE EXPECTATION.... what is it? It's getting the audience to want to know more--to find out what happens next. It often is done through effective use of "hooks" and "paying it forward" scenarios.

HOOK..... what is it? It's like a cliffhanger. It is creating a situation which makes the audience wonder what will happen next.

THROUGH LINE... what is it? This is the spirit of the movie--its soul. It is the pervading theme which binds the motivations of all the characters together. It's the FORCE in a script.

PLACE MARKER.... what is it? It's a reminder to come back and finish this part of the script. It's used when you have a writer's block and can't think of an ideal way to present a critical scene. Instead of just stopping and perhaps even causing you to quit the scriptwriting process, simply jot down a summary/outline of what's needed and come back to it later. Meanwhile, move onto the next scenes and keep truckin'.

PLOT POINT ONE... what is it and where is it placed? I think this is when the routine is interrupted (or was that PP 2? I never was good at remembering numbers!)

PLOT POINT II.... what is it and where is it placed? Hmmm. I hazard to guess that's when our hero finds an ally who may assist him/her with his problem? I said it was only a "guess" tongue.gif

FIRST TURN AROUND....what is it and where is it placed? I believe this is when the tide of battle turns and our hero has a hope of getting out of his situation favorably.

SECOND TURN AROUND...what is it and where is it placed? This is yet another turn in the tide of battle and our protagonist's plans fail miserably and all seems lost.

THE CENTRAL QUESTION... what is it? This is the primary concern for our protagonist. It's the motivation for all his/her actions (be it to avenge himself upon someone, or becoming a millionaire, etc.)

THE INCITING INCIDENT....what is it? I think this is the interruption to the protagonist's routine. It's what starts the story rolling.

PAYING FORWARD... what does it mean? Why is it used. It's the opposite of a hook, kind of. Instead of making the viewer want to know more information, it gives the viewer information and makes them want to know how will this information be put to good use in the film. "The DaVinci Code" uses this a lot. Just the title of the movie itself is a Paying-it-Forward setup--Leonardo DaVinci is involved, but how?

#22 aroundworld

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 07:20 PM

QUOTE (JosephKw @ Jan 11 2013, 10:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Glad to be back smile.gif Ok, I'm giving this a shot through memory alone. Please correct me if I'm wrong, as usual (I mean the correcting part and not necessarily the being wrong part).

HA HA HA HA!! Your perspective is always entertaining!!! smile.gif

What is an INTERRUPTION TO ROUTINE, why is it used? The ITR is used to show something has occurred which drastically changes the protagonist's life. It's used to grab the audience's attention and make them worry about how this will all be resolved. It starts the adventure.

Try to think of INTERRUPTION TO ROUTINE as a warm up to PLOT POINT I. It begins or heightens audience expectation in the beginning of the film. PLOT POINT I, is the big interruption that launches us in to ACT II.

The above are basic story structure elements. THE WRITER CAN USE THEM how he / she sees fit, But to grasp them in this course I'm laying them out in clear functional terms.



What is the PLANT AND PAY OFF, why is it used? The PAPO is introducing something to the audience (it could be an object, or even an idea such as the need for balance in nature [yin and yang]), and then later having our protagonist (or another character) use this object or knowledge in resolve an issue. This provides an "aha!" moment for the audience. It also makes the solution to the issue seem less contrived. For example, if Obi-Wan did not show us what a light saber was and suddenly used this weird device in the cantina, some might think "how convenient" or "where did that come from", and "what the heck is it?" The use of the lightsaber raises more questions and distracts the audience in what should've been an "aha" moment.

Yes!!! Great answer and observations!!! Remember, we can also give the antagonist plant and payoffs. ALL of our story tools work both ways for characters.

AUDIENCE EXPECTATION.... what is it? It's getting the audience to want to know more--to find out what happens next. It often is done through effective use of "hooks" and "paying it forward" scenarios.

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!! You're putting the pieces together!!!

These story elements (tools) DOVE TAIL into each other. If you understand what each one does and identify its use, you'll build a much more effective story. Well done!!


HOOK..... what is it? It's like a cliffhanger. It is creating a situation which makes the audience wonder what will happen next.

Ok, that's one way of describing it. But I want you to identify this tool like this:

A HOOK is nothing more than WITHHOLDING INFORMATION.

In real life, we do it all the time. When you're talking to someone and you pause when telling them something, naturally want to know what your going to say next! You've withheld information, you HOOKED your friend in the conversation.




THROUGH LINE... what is it? This is the spirit of the movie--its soul. It is the pervading theme which binds the motivations of all the characters together. It's the FORCE in a script.

YES!!!! Its also called the STORY SPINE!!

Great description / answer!




PLACE MARKER.... what is it? It's a reminder to come back and finish this part of the script. It's used when you have a writer's block and can't think of an ideal way to present a critical scene. Instead of just stopping and perhaps even causing you to quit the scriptwriting process, simply jot down a summary/outline of what's needed and come back to it later. Meanwhile, move onto the next scenes and keep truckin'.

Yes!! Exactly!!!! Don't obsess over this stuff. When you hit a dead spot, make a note of what needs to happen, AND MOVE ON!!! You'll come back and write something brilliant later! smile.gif

PLOT POINT ONE... what is it and where is it placed? I think this is when the routine is interrupted (or was that PP 2? I never was good at remembering numbers!)

Ha ha! Nice try! smile.gif

PLOT POINT ONE, is at the end of ACT I. It is also known as the INCITING INCIDENT, and launches us into ACT II.


PLOT POINT II.... what is it and where is it placed? Hmmm. I hazard to guess that's when our hero finds an ally who may assist him/her with his problem? I said it was only a "guess" tongue.gif

Haha!! PLOT POINT II is at the end of act two. Your hero finds an ally in the first turn around. smile.gif


FIRST TURN AROUND....what is it and where is it placed? I believe this is when the tide of battle turns and our hero has a hope of getting out of his situation favorably.

Swing and a miss!! smile.gif

FIRST TURN AROUND, is when your character is faced with his/her first challenge after entering ACT II.

They enter ACT II, then establish their NEW ROUTINE (life is different now). They face some obstacle to there goal and in the process, meet an ally. smile.gif



SECOND TURN AROUND...what is it and where is it placed? This is yet another turn in the tide of battle and our protagonist's plans fail miserably and all seems lost.

Yes!! Our hero is down for the count, no way out. Their ally may be dead...etc. Then by chance or your PAYOFF, he /she finds a way out. We enter plot point two and enter a life and death struggle that takes us to ACT III.

THE CENTRAL QUESTION... what is it? This is the primary concern for our protagonist. It's the motivation for all his/her actions (be it to avenge himself upon someone, or becoming a millionaire, etc.)

Yes!! Will Jane Doe do accomplish XYZ?

THE INCITING INCIDENT....what is it? I think this is the interruption to the protagonist's routine. It's what starts the story rolling.

THE INCITING INCIDENT, is also known as PLOT POINT I. It launches us into ACT II.

PAYING FORWARD... what does it mean? Why is it used. It's the opposite of a hook, kind of. Instead of making the viewer want to know more information, it gives the viewer information and makes them want to know how will this information be put to good use in the film. "The DaVinci Code" uses this a lot. Just the title of the movie itself is a Paying-it-Forward setup--Leonardo DaVinci is involved, but how?

YES!!! We give the viewer information up front Bourne Identity is another example of this. We know what Bourne's situation is, but we watch to see how he will meet his challenges.



Very very good shot at these Joseph!!!! And thank you for trying these by memory!!:))

Take a bow!!!


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#23 kkffoo

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Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:37 AM

Right, trying this without reading back or previous posts / corrections / possible corrections to Joseph''s work!


What is an INTERRUPTION TO ROUTINE, why is it used?

The interruption is a plot device which lets the audience know that the story is now in motion. We have left the normal routine of the character and the incidents now playing out will lead our hero into some sort of adventure / love tryst.

What is the PLANT AND PAY OFF, why is it used?

A plant is a seemingly insignificant happening, which the audience will remember later. It anchors later developments into a credible story world, and is satisfying to watch as the action makes sense.

AUDIENCE EXPECTATION.... what is it?

There is a difference between what we as an audience know, and what we believe the story characters know. If the story is a mystery, on screen characters may be expected to know more than the audience, and watchers will expect those unknown details to be revealed later.
Plants can be used to created audience expectation, especially where the audience then knows more than the character.
We know the bomb is in the boot, thought the driver does not.


HOOK..... what is it?

Some thing which grabs the audience and makes them want to know what happens next...does he get the girl? Does she save the school? Do they win the match?

THROUGH LINE... what is it?

PLACE MARKER.... what is it?

PLOT POINT ONE... what is it and where is it placed?

PLOT POINT II.... what is it and where is it placed?

FIRST TURN AROUND....what is it and where is it placed?

SECOND TURN AROUND...what is it and where is it placed?

THE CENTRAL QUESTION... what is it?

This is the essence of the story expressed as a question. eg Can Doctor Feelgood find a cure for rabies and save the animal sanctuary before mad Professor Dread demolishes the town and steals his girl?
This question focuses the mind of the writer on the central story theme, and expresses to an audience what they are likely to see.

THE INCITING INCIDENT....what is it?

I *think* this is a plot point where the main character is propelled into action, they start out, they do a bit, then get thwarted by the inciting incident which they react against to eventually triumph.

PAYING FORWARD... what does it mean? Why is it used.

This is when story elements are left as 'clues' so that when they come together the audience feels satisfied that things make sense, even if they didn't understand the clues.

_______________________________________________________________________

I'm finding that I can't remember the structural parts..ie where the turnarounds go, so i missed those out.


#24 aroundworld

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Posted 14 January 2013 - 09:45 PM

QUOTE (kkffoo @ Jan 14 2013, 9:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Right, trying this without reading back or previous posts / corrections / possible corrections to Joseph''s work!


What is an INTERRUPTION TO ROUTINE, why is it used?

The interruption is a plot device which lets the audience know that the story is now in motion. We have left the normal routine of the character and the incidents now playing out will lead our hero into some sort of adventure / love tryst.

YES!!! Our hero is off to a new life for ill or for good!!! It's important to make this clear. Good answer / observation!!!

What is the PLANT AND PAY OFF, why is it used?

A plant is a seemingly insignificant happening, which the audience will remember later. It anchors later developments into a credible story world, and is satisfying to watch as the action makes sense.

EXACTLY!!! I love your twist on the answer to this question. It adds more depth and informs our perspective on what PLANT PAY OFF is. Very, very good!! smile.gif

AUDIENCE EXPECTATION.... what is it?

There is a difference between what we as an audience know, and what we believe the story characters know. If the story is a mystery, on screen characters may be expected to know more than the audience, and watchers will expect those unknown details to be revealed later.
Plants can be used to created audience expectation, especially where the audience then knows more than the character.
We know the bomb is in the boot, thought the driver does not.

FANTASTIC explanation, Kate!!!!!! You broke this down meaningful, detailed reasons for the expectation and even included another tool (PLANT) to illustrate your answer!! THANK YOU!!!


HOOK..... what is it?

Some thing which grabs the audience and makes them want to know what happens next...does he get the girl? Does she save the school? Do they win the match?

THROUGH LINE... what is it?

PLACE MARKER.... what is it?

PLOT POINT ONE... what is it and where is it placed?

PLOT POINT II.... what is it and where is it placed?

FIRST TURN AROUND....what is it and where is it placed?

SECOND TURN AROUND...what is it and where is it placed?

THE CENTRAL QUESTION... what is it?

This is the essence of the story expressed as a question. eg Can Doctor Feelgood find a cure for rabies and save the animal sanctuary before mad Professor Dread demolishes the town and steals his girl?
This question focuses the mind of the writer on the central story theme, and expresses to an audience what they are likely to see.

Excellent!!! YES!!!!

THE INCITING INCIDENT....what is it?

I *think* this is a plot point where the main character is propelled into action, they start out, they do a bit, then get thwarted by the inciting incident which they react against to eventually triumph.

Yes, it is a plot point. Which one? The inciting indecent is PLOT POINT ONE I. It comes at the end of ACT I.

PAYING FORWARD... what does it mean? Why is it used.

This is when story elements are left as 'clues' so that when they come together the audience feels satisfied that things make sense, even if they didn't understand the clues.


PAYING IT FORWARD, is nothing more than giving the audience all the information of the character's crisis up front. We know Jason Bourne has a memory loss, but we don't know why. We watch to see how he'll learn who he is.

_______________________________________________________________________

I'm finding that I can't remember the structural parts..ie where the turnarounds go, so i missed those out.





ACT I

We meet your character.

We see their routine.

We see the interruption of routine (they learn something that will help rescue them in act III.

The inciting incident. (PLOT POINT ONE I) Launches us into ACT II


ACT II

The character tries to adjust to the new situation, or fights it.


FIRST TURN AROUND

Our hero meets their first challenge in the new world and meets an ally to help them.


SECOND TURN AROUND

Our hero experiences loss, maybe the hero is captured, or the ally dies or they are captured. I looks grim / no way out.


PLOT POINT II

Our hero finds away to escape. They break free. But now the chase is on and we are launched into ACT III.


ACT III

The hero is faced with the challenge of facing their enemies the BIG BATTLE RAGES.

The hero wins, loses.... etc


THE RESOLUTION

We see the outcome of the heros victory


THE END

We see what the hero's new life is like.




Good Job with these Kate!!! Thank you for trying them by memorie!! smile.gif)

I loved you answers!! They were right on and with depth. THANK YOU!!!


TAKE A BOW!!!








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#25 aroundworld

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 10:08 PM

CUTE MEET



I’d like to introduce you to the industry term,


Cute Meet.



This is merely the two main characters meeting for the first time and falling
for each other. If you look at just about any romantic comedy there’s usually a highly entertaining way in
which the characters meet. The audience is also given a glimpse of an attraction that will ultimately flourish through the course of the story.




ASSIGNMENT #1



Discussion Exercise: Cute Meet Describe a Cute Meet from a romantic comedy that you've seen. Post your description directly into the Discussion area for this topic/exercise.


Cute Meet



I want this to help you think of creative ways your lovers could meet. Although, this doesn't have to be confined to lovers. It could be the anti-lover relationship. Maybe a boy / girl meet, but don't fall in love!



OR


They meet in a less than ideal way...... etc.


Tell me why these scenes ( CUTE MEETS ) made you want to see more, tell me why they worked / didn't work for you and why. Lets talk about this! smile.gif



ASSIGNMENT #2



Create three CUTE MEETS of your own.


I WANT:

One Happy CUTE MEET:

One Dramatic CUTE MEET:

One angry CUTE MEET:


Have fun with these!! smile.gif


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#26 JosephKw

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Posted 19 January 2013 - 09:19 AM

Cute term smile.gif Here's the "cute meet" which immediately came to my mind--Kurt Russell meets Goldie Hawn in "Overboard". Kurt Russell plays a sweaty blue-collar carpenter who is hired to create some closet space for Goldie Hawn aboard her yacht. Russell first sees Hawn and looks her up and down appreciatively. Hawn (being a debutante) first sees Russell and eyes him with loathing and disgust. This was a great setup since it made me want to know when the powder keg situation would explode (and what a great plot explosion it was when Russell took advantage of a fortuitous situation to exact his revenge upon Hawn for refusing to pay for his work).

One Happy CUTE MEET: Patrick and Patricia (no relation) find themselves the only two people at their doctor's office's waiting room. They each hold their own noses as they pass through the door together and find seats as far away from each other as possible in the waiting area. When the receptionist calls for "Pat", both get up to answer the call. Patricia stumbles and falls onto Patrick, and to their surprise none of them are sneezing, because they both have a rare allergy to other people--but not to each other. Pat and Pat have a chance, at last, for love.

One Dramatic CUTE MEET:
A newlywed couple, Jack and Jill, quarrel over the surprise visit of Jill's brother, Bob. However, once Bob shows up, Jack's reservations disappear as Jack spends all his time with Bob. Much to Jill's dismay, she finds out both her husband and brother are gay, and have fallen in love with each other. Meet couple Jack and Bob.

One angry CUTE MEET:
Harry and Sally are both bedbugs (literally). They live in a run-down apartment, competing with hundreds of others for food (human blood) until one fateful day, the exterminators come to spray the entire complex. The only spot they missed was a crack behind the bed's headboard, and that's where Harry and Sally meet. Initially they each make claim to the tiny crack and demand the other vacate the premises. However, as the new day dawns, they realize they are the only bedbugs left alive. They may possibly be the last of their species. It is then they realize that it is their duty to rekindle the species and breed like bugs.

#27 kkffoo

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:07 AM

I love Overboard, one of my fave movies!

I'm not sure if this qualifies, but a meet that doesn't work out but stays in my mind is in Woody Allen film.
Possibly in Everything you always wanted to know about sechs (spelled that way to avoid spamageddon on thread)
I'm sure I have the details wrong though!

Woody's character desperate for a date, spots a darkly attired woman in an art gallery staring a t a bleak painting, and ask her for a date;

Woody: What are you doing on Friday?
Woman: Killing myself.
Woody: How about Thursday then?

One Happy CUTE MEET:
A tray full of labrador puppies disappearing fast in a pet shop. Derek and Sally both reach for the last pup together, their hands and eyes meet...........

One Dramatic CUTE MEET:
A tray full of labrador puppies disappearing fast in a pet shop.
Derek and Sally both reach for the last puppy when an armed gang burst in, killing all the staff. D & S huddle behind a cage.
One villain pulls off his balaclava and grabs a lizard from a cage, kisses it affectionately, then tucks it into his coat. The lizard's knobbly back sparkles as he does so.


One angry CUTE MEET:
A tray full of labrador puppies disappearing fast in a pet shop.
Sally is led to tray by assistant, she is holding photo of lab pup, she holds it up to last pup and is satisfied. Derek snatches the pup from under her nose.



#28 aroundworld

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:14 PM

QUOTE (JosephKw @ Jan 19 2013, 9:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Cute term smile.gif Here's the "cute meet" which immediately came to my mind--Kurt Russell meets Goldie Hawn in "Overboard". Kurt Russell plays a sweaty blue-collar carpenter who is hired to create some closet space for Goldie Hawn aboard her yacht. Russell first sees Hawn and looks her up and down appreciatively. Hawn (being a debutante) first sees Russell and eyes him with loathing and disgust. This was a great setup since it made me want to know when the powder keg situation would explode (and what a great plot explosion it was when Russell took advantage of a fortuitous situation to exact his revenge upon Hawn for refusing to pay for his work).

I haven't seen overboard since it came out, but I have very fond memories of that movie. Great example! Yes the relational tension here provdes a vehicle for the HOOK, that keeps you riveted to the story.


One Happy CUTE MEET: Patrick and Patricia (no relation) find themselves the only two people at their doctor's office's waiting room. They each hold their own noses as they pass through the door together and find seats as far away from each other as possible in the waiting area. When the receptionist calls for "Pat", both get up to answer the call. Patricia stumbles and falls onto Patrick, and to their surprise none of them are sneezing, because they both have a rare allergy to other people--but not to each other. Pat and Pat have a chance, at last, for love.

HA HA HA HA!!! THis os great! Very clear, funny and makes me wonder what about them isn't going to work, Nice job!!!

One Dramatic CUTE MEET:
A newlywed couple, Jack and Jill, quarrel over the surprise visit of Jill's brother, Bob. However, once Bob shows up, Jack's reservations disappear as Jack spends all his time with Bob. Much to Jill's dismay, she finds out both her husband and brother are gay, and have fallen in love with each other. Meet couple Jack and Bob.


Ohhh man, to bad for Jill. Very clear. now I wonder what Jill's going to do. Great Hook situation. Lots of tension here. GOOD JOB!!!


One angry CUTE MEET:
Harry and Sally are both bedbugs (literally). They live in a run-down apartment, competing with hundreds of others for food (human blood) until one fateful day, the exterminators come to spray the entire complex. The only spot they missed was a crack behind the bed's headboard, and that's where Harry and Sally meet. Initially they each make claim to the tiny crack and demand the other vacate the premises. However, as the new day dawns, they realize they are the only bedbugs left alive. They may possibly be the last of their species. It is then they realize that it is their duty to rekindle the species and breed like bugs.


HA HA HA HA !!!! Great PIXAR moment!



These are exactly what I was looking for JK. Nice Job!! Very imaginative, and each CUTE MEET has a HOOK and raises Audience expectations. Good work.

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#29 aroundworld

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 03:12 PM

QUOTE (kkffoo @ Jan 20 2013, 11:07 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I love Overboard, one of my fave movies!

I'm not sure if this qualifies, but a meet that doesn't work out but stays in my mind is in Woody Allen film.
Possibly in Everything you always wanted to know about sechs (spelled that way to avoid spamageddon on thread)
I'm sure I have the details wrong though!

Woody's character desperate for a date, spots a darkly attired woman in an art gallery staring a t a bleak painting, and ask her for a date;

Woody: What are you doing on Friday?
Woman: Killing myself.
Woody: How about Thursday then?


This works just fine!! Thanks so much for taking the time to write the dialog! smile.gif I love Woody Allen!!! He's a master at irony. Very good example! This CUTE MEET has a lot of depth. It engages; intellect, humor, irony, curiosity. Why does she want to kill herself??? A funny powerful HOOK!

Some aren't as vivid as this one. Most are pretty forgettable. But JK's and your example are dead on. Each one gets you HOOKED and clearly denotes the beginning of a journey. Great example.





One Happy CUTE MEET:
A tray full of labrador puppies disappearing fast in a pet shop. Derek and Sally both reach for the last pup together, their hands and eyes meet...........

Great! Dog lovers would melt at this scene! Simple, heart warming, a good set up for what will go wrong. smile.gif


One Dramatic CUTE MEET:
A tray full of labrador puppies disappearing fast in a pet shop.
Derek and Sally both reach for the last puppy when an armed gang burst in, killing all the staff. D & S huddle behind a cage. One villain pulls off his balaclava and grabs a lizard from a cage, kisses it affectionately, then tucks it into his coat. The lizard's knobbly back sparkles as he does so.


Wonderful, dark comedic contrast. This a powerful CUTE MEET! Now what? I'm HOOKED! A sweet moment turns dark. The kiss of the lizard is funny, our future lovers are terrified. Really well layered emotional elements!!!



One angry CUTE MEET:
A tray full of Labrador puppies disappearing fast in a pet shop.
Sally is led to tray by assistant, she is holding photo of lab pup, she holds it up to last pup and is satisfied. Derek snatches the pup from under her nose.

Well, Derek is an ass isn't he? This is great! I'm guessing sooner or later Derek will realize it himself and merry Sally just before it's to late.



These are great examples, Kate!! I like how you used the same setting and turned them into unique situations! Each one has it's own twist and dynamics, yet they HOOK the audience and engender different emotions. Great Job!

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#30 aroundworld

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Posted 22 January 2013 - 11:03 PM

PLACE MARKER EXERCISE



You guys already have place markers in the story's you've been working on. But if you will, please follow this assignment. It's helped me many times in my own work.




ASSIGNMENT 1




Using the following place markers, sketch out a brief outline for the first act of a crime
drama:


1. Discovery of the body.
2. Police crime scene investigation.
3. Interviewing witnesses.
4. A lying witness.
5. A surprising clue.
6. Feel free to add some of your own place markers.


Just make sure that you come up with interesting choices to fill in those
variables and you’ll be on your way to creating a crime thriller.

Remember to keep it brief. You’re not coming up with the entire story, just the first act (set-up).

PURPOSE :To understand and practice using place markers when writing a narrative.



ASSIGNMENT 2



Look over your stories and find the PLACE MARKERS that naturally occurred as a result of your writing. Remember, these are KEY MOMENTS that advance your story.

Write a SCENE BEAT (one or two sentences NO MORE) that leads to your PLACE MARKER.

Any questions let me know.



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#31 JosephKw

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 09:39 AM

A homeless man staggers down a dark alley rummaging through waste bins. 1. Discovery of the body. He screams in horror.

2. Police crime scene investigation. Police prevent anyone from entering the crime scene without proper law enforcement or press ID.

An officer jots down notes while 3. interviewing witnesses. Arnold, 19, is spotted trying to leave the crime scene. He is stopped and questioned and found to be 4. a lying witness.

The police get suspicious of Arnold when they notice 5. a surprising clue, and quickly detain and take him to the police station.

ASSIGNMENT 2: The place markers are in red.

Patrick and Patricia (no relation) find themselves the only two people at their doctor's office's waiting room. They each hold their own noses as they pass through the door together and find seats as far away from each other as possible in the waiting area. When the receptionist calls for "Pat", both get up to answer the call. Patricia stumbles and falls onto Patrick, and to their surprise none of them are sneezing, because they both have a rare allergy to other people--but not to each other. Pat and Pat have a chance, at last, for love.


A newlywed couple, Jack and Jill, quarrel over the surprise visit of Jill's brother, Bob. However, once Bob shows up, Jack's reservations disappear as Jack spends all his time with Bob. Much to Jill's dismay, she finds out both her husband and brother are gay, and have fallen in love with each other. Meet couple Jack and Bob.

Harry and Sally are both bedbugs (literally). They live in a run-down apartment, competing with hundreds of others for food (human blood) until one fateful day, the exterminators come to spray the entire complex. The only spot they missed was a crack behind the bed's headboard, and that's where Harry and Sally meet. Initially they each make claim to the tiny crack and demand the other vacate the premises. However, as the new day dawns, they realize they are the only bedbugs left alive. They may possibly be the last of their species. It is then they realize that it is their duty to rekindle the species and breed like bugs.

EDIT: I just read through Kate's answers and I'm not sure if I was to include those "interesting variables to fill in the place markers." I thought you intended them for a future assignment, but here they are...
1. Discovery of the body. He (the homeless man) reaches for an empty bottle in the bin and pulls it out, along with a severed hand holding onto it (I had this in mind already before I read Kate's reply, just so you know).
2. Police Crime Investigation. Officers cordon off the alleyway with yellow ribbons and station men at all entrances and exits to and from the crime scene.
3. Interviewing witnesses. Arnold is seen within the cordoned off perimeters and detained and questioned.
4. Lying witness. He claims he wandered into the alley, but police knew no one was allowed admission, so he must have come from within the crime scene--perhaps dropped down a fire escape or crawled out from a basement window.
5. A surprising clue. The police notice that Arnold is wearing the exact same clothes as the dead man found in the trash bin.

#32 kkffoo

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 11:42 AM

1. Discovery of the body.

Alan and Caitlin stagger along a road, covered in party streamers.
Alan looks into his empty Champagne bottle, shakes his head, then tosses it into a bush.
Caitlin totters to a trash bin, and points at a littering fine notice.
Alan shrugs and crawls under bush.
He backs out carying a severed arm.

2. Police crime scene investigation.

Caitlin sits in back of an ambulance, vomiting into a bucket as a police dog yelps under a hedge.

Squad cars flash their lights.
A few passers-by are herded behind a taped barrier.

3. Interviewing witnesses.

An inspector takes notes as Alan gesticulates wildly.
A young constable peers into a street cleaner's cart.

4. A lying witness.

An elderly dog walker grabs the inspector, and hands him a broken flowery umbrella

5. A surprising clue.

The young constable pulls two aerosol cans out of the street cleaner's cart. They are marked 'compressed air'

6. Feel free to add some of your own place markers.

A difference of opinion

The inspector shakes his head and throws the cans back into the cart, pushing the street cleaner on his way.


I'm not sure which stories we are referring to for part 2?

#33 aroundworld

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Posted 26 January 2013 - 06:40 PM

Sorry its taken so long to get to these. I looked them over and will be commenting shortly. smile.gif

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#34 aroundworld

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Posted 27 January 2013 - 02:35 PM

QUOTE (JosephKw @ Jan 23 2013, 9:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A homeless man staggers down a dark alley rummaging through waste bins. 1. Discovery of the body. He screams in horror.

2. Police crime scene investigation. Police prevent anyone from entering the crime scene without proper law enforcement or press ID.

An officer jots down notes while 3. interviewing witnesses. Arnold, 19, is spotted trying to leave the crime scene. He is stopped and questioned and found to be 4. a lying witness.

The police get suspicious of Arnold when they notice 5. a surprising clue, and quickly detain and take him to the police station.

Ok, the above works. I would have liked to know what the clue is that caused them to take him to the police station. However, the nature of the PLACE MARKER is bring us back to a place that needs detail.

Well done!



ASSIGNMENT 2: The place markers are in red.

Patrick and Patricia (no relation) find themselves the only two people at their doctor's office's waiting room. They each hold their own noses as they pass through the door together and find seats as far away from each other as possible in the waiting area. When the receptionist calls for "Pat", both get up to answer the call. Patricia stumbles and falls onto Patrick, and to their surprise none of them are sneezing, because they both have a rare allergy to other people--but not to each other. Pat and Pat have a chance, at last, for love.


A newlywed couple, Jack and Jill, quarrel over the surprise visit of Jill's brother, Bob. However, once Bob shows up, Jack's reservations disappear as Jack spends all his time with Bob. Much to Jill's dismay, she finds out both her husband and brother are gay, and have fallen in love with each other. Meet couple Jack and Bob.

Harry and Sally are both bedbugs (literally). They live in a run-down apartment, competing with hundreds of others for food (human blood) until one fateful day, the exterminators come to spray the entire complex. The only spot they missed was a crack behind the bed's headboard, and that's where Harry and Sally meet. Initially they each make claim to the tiny crack and demand the other vacate the premises. However, as the new day dawns, they realize they are the only bedbugs left alive. They may possibly be the last of their species. It is then they realize that it is their duty to rekindle the species and breed like bugs.




EDIT: I just read through Kate's answers and I'm not sure if I was to include those "interesting variables to fill in the place markers." I thought you intended them for a future assignment, but here they are...

1. Discovery of the body. He (the homeless man) reaches for an empty bottle in the bin and pulls it out, along with a severed hand holding onto it (I had this in mind already before I read Kate's reply, just so you know).

HAHA! This is funny! A real grabber.

2. Police Crime Investigation. Officers cordon off the alleyway with yellow ribbons and station men at all entrances and exits to and from the crime scene.

Nice! Commonly used. But a good filler to lead the audience to the next situation.


3. Interviewing witnesses. Arnold is seen within the cordoned off perimeters and detained and questioned.

Good! Building up a scenario.

4. Lying witness. He claims he wandered into the alley, but police knew no one was allowed admission, so he must have come from within the crime scene--perhaps dropped down a fire escape or crawled out from a basement window.

Good, basic complication. Nice!


5. A surprising clue. The police notice that Arnold is wearing the exact same clothes as the dead man found in the trash bin.



These all work really well. Don't worry misunderstanding the the assignment. Good creative PLACE MARKERS, JK!

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#35 aroundworld

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 03:47 AM

QUOTE (kkffoo @ Jan 23 2013, 11:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
1. Discovery of the body.

Alan and Caitlin stagger along a road, covered in party streamers.
Alan looks into his empty Champagne bottle, shakes his head, then tosses it into a bush.
Caitlin totters to a trash bin, and points at a littering fine notice.
Alan shrugs and crawls under bush.
He backs out carying a severed arm.


Haha! Nice! He must be reallt drunk!!



2. Police crime scene investigation.


Caitlin sits in back of an ambulance, vomiting into a bucket as a police dog yelps under a hedge.



Squad cars flash their lights.
A few passers-by are herded behind a taped barrier.

GREAT DETAIL! Simple imagery that enforces the situation. The dog barking is wonderful!


3. Interviewing witnesses.

An inspector takes notes as Alan gesticulates wildly.
A young constable peers into a street cleaner's cart.

Good! A visual cue for later.


4. A lying witness.


An elderly dog walker grabs the inspector, and hands him a broken flowery umbrella

A clew that has nothing to do with the crime scene? Good! This is open ended, you could come back to this. Nice!



5. A surprising clue.


The young constable pulls two aerosol cans out of the street cleaner's cart. They are marked 'compressed air'

Intriguing! Good! smile.gif


6. Feel free to add some of your own place markers.

A difference of opinion

The inspector shakes his head and throws the cans back into the cart, pushing the street cleaner on his way.


Difference of opinion is a great hook! It creates tension and conflict. GREAT PLACE MARKER in just the right spot




I'm not sure which stories we are referring to for part 2?



Take the story you worked on last session Maggy's story, and find the place marker in that story. The key moments that move the story forward. That is part two. smile.gif


You did a nice job on this Kate!!! Now look at your original story, and give me the place markers
in that story.


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#36 aroundworld

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Posted 30 January 2013 - 03:53 AM

JK, go ahead and take your original story and find the place markers in that story and post them here.

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#37 JosephKw

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:28 AM

Here is my original story. I found the place markers and highlighted them in red.


ACT I

BEAT 1.
We meet your character

TV Host John and cameraman Gary prepare to film an interview with Mel Ein. Dominique, Mel Ein's secretary, clad in tight black leather coldly admits them to see Mel Ein, 65.

MIDWAY

BEAT 2.
Your character has a minor interruption BUT THEY LEARN SOMETHING HERE that saves them in ACT III

The interview focuses on the opening of Mel Ein's new venture, Purgatory Park. Mel Ein eagerly tries to find the concept drawings for the park, but Dominique "lost" them. Mel Ein is unfazed, which makes Dominique scowl even more than usual.


PLOT POINT I (inciting incident)

BEAT 3.
Your character now has a major interruption of routine that changes their life.

Dominique makes a few phone calls to Mel Ein's creditors as Mel Ein prepares to officially open the gates to Purgatory Park. The creditors arrive and Dominique gazes intently at Mel Ein, but Mel is unfazed and confidently gives his speech. Dominique frowns in disappointment.


ACT II

BEAT 4.
Your character is reeling from the major event, but manages to catch their breath and try to understand the new situation.

The creditors, some with court judgments, demand that Mel Ein sell off his park to pay his debts. John and Gary capture the embarrassing documents on camera.


FIRST TURN AROUND

BEAT 5.
Your character faces the enemy, or almost gets caught or nearly gets killed...etc. But through this experience. he/she meets their ally, and together they think of a strategy to win.

Mel Ein tries to pay some petty cash to the creditors to appease them, but they want their entire payment plus interest. Mel asks John and Gary to help, promising them shares in the park if they can stave off the creditors long enough for the park to make a profit and start paying off the debts. John and Gary agree.


SECOND TURN AROUND

BEAT 6.
They face the enemy together (or what ever you story is) and confidently fight, but the enemy is stronger/smarter than they assumed. They're captured or separated (fill in the blank) but defeat seems inevitable and they're crushed.

John and Gary suggests that Mel Ein show the creditors the potential of the park, and this initially seems to work. The creditors are impressed until Dominique drops some papers in front of them revealing the massive expenses to operate the facility. The creditors doubt a profit can be made and decide a forced sale of the park is best for their interests. Mel Ein remains expressionless, which irks Dominique.



PLOT POINT 2 (rise of the hero)

BEAT 7.
Your character's find away of escape, but are discovered. Almost killed (what ever supports your story).
The battle/chase ??? is on!!!!!

John challenges the creditors; he will bet his shares of the park against the creditors that the majority of the park's patrons are satisfied and will return with friends or relatives--which will prove the park will be lucrative and worthy of a long-term investment (as opposed to a forced sales of the assets). The creditors risk nothing, so they accept. Dominique overhears this and does her best to ruin the park patrons' experience.


ACT III

BEAT 8.
Your character's are in a race to survive. The enemy is strong but the hero's have figured it out and work their plan. The plan fail's! The way of escape is blocked, but they fight. They fight and almost lose, but then a character REMEMBERS WHAT THEY LEARNED IN ACT I, and it saves the day. The enemy is vanquished.

Dominique is nefarious in sabotaging the park, and many patrons are displeased; the poll being taken by the creditors show most patrons will not return. John realizes Dominique's goal is to make Mel Ein upset so he devises a plan.

RESOLUTION

BEAT 9.
Maybe one of your characters is wounded and dies, maybe they realize something about life. But the resolution typically answers a question brought forth in the film. Maybe they realize they love each other, or someone else.
It's up to you. BUT PLEASE, SHOW US HOW YOUR CHARACTER HAS CHANGED, GROWN...etc.

Mel sets fire to a small section of the park and cries in tears because he did not buy fire insurance--Dominique finally smiles watching Mel writhe in pain, and stops sabotaging the park. The polls start showing positive results for satisfied customers. The creditors allow Mel Ein to continue operating the park with an installment payment plan.


OUTCOME

BEAT 10.
Your characters return (or not) to their former lives.

A year later Mel Ein is in his office watching his beloved park from the window. John and Gary give orders down below, managing the park, especially to Dominique, who works in the "House Of Pain" maze as the dominatrix. She smiles happily.

The End

#38 kkffoo

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Posted 04 February 2013 - 11:35 AM

I'm still grasping the concept of placeholder, so what I did was go through my story summary, and highlight any parts that another writer would need to question if they were to take this summary write the script.

ACT I

We meet your character.

Peasant cottage lit by an oil lamp. MAGGY TREVALYCK is scraping bristles from pigskin and singing. BRENDA RAMSBOTTOM slaps her and Maggy stops singing. The slap has revealed a peculiar shaped birthmark hiding under Maggy's fringe. Maggy quickly hides it again.

What happens in between meeting your character and the midway point?

Maggy witnesses James' men evicting a peasant family, and stealing a half loaf of bread in the confusion. She is incensed.

MIDWAY

Their life is interrupted, but they learn something that saves them in ACT III

Maggy stands by Foley Manor gates. One gatepost has a strange carving under the lettering 'Foley Manor'.[/b] MAGGY lifts her fringe unknowingly to touch her birthmark. The shape of the carving and birthmark match. Just then JAMES and his men gallop through. JAMES laughs as MAGGY is pushed into a muddy ditch.

What happens from midway to the first plot point?

Maggy sneaks into Foley hall, she plans to steal some food for the peasants, but has to hide when she witnesses James set fire to the mansion. A henchman discovers her and threatens to expose her if he can't have his evil way. She breaks free , finally leaping through the flames into Lady Foley's bedroom.


PLOT POINT I

The Manor is in flames. Maggy stumbles through smoke, choking for air. Her dirty foot brushes against a dead woman's hand. It's Lady Foley. She's repulsed until flames glint off the woman's jeweled bracelet. Maggy grabs the bracelet and heads for the window - James bursts into the room, As Maggy open the window to leap out leaps from the window, a rush of air rushed through the room, lifting papers and fanning the flames.

The dead woman's fringe is blown back and we see an identical birthmark on her forehead. James jumps through the flames and follows Maggy out the window, swinging form a vine and lands in a pool of hounds and men on the driveway. The gang chase Maggy into the woods, where she is rescued by TOMMY, who pulls her out of their path at the last moment.

ACT II

Your character tries to grasp what has happened to them. (remember our earlier exercise).

Maggy and Tommy are hiding out. Maggy shows Tommy the necklace, with the clasp in the same shape as the Foley birthmark. Tommy is horrified..Maggy doesn't understand the value of the item she took, they may both be hanged.

What happens between the first scene of ACT II and first turn around?

Maggy and Tommy are spotted by James and flee across fields and woods.


TURN AROUND 1

They have an encounter with the enemy but in the process meet someone that will help them. (remember our earlier exercise).

The Hounds pick up Maggy's scent and chase the pair to the edge of a lake. Tommy drags Maggy to a boathouse on a small island. Tommy is surprised to see a sleeping roll and possessions. On the wall they see an [b]old carved heart with initials GF and RP. They decide to leave but the ragged MR PINKWHISTLE, carrying snared rabbits, blocks their exit.

What happens between the first and second turn around?

He takes them for common thieves when he spots the bracelet, but after they tell their story he reveals he also is trying to thwart James, who had cost Mr P his job and reputation.

TURN AROUND 2

Your character's are seemingly defeated. (Remember our earlier exercise)

Mr Pinkwhistle offers to help Maggy and Tommy prevent James from taking over Foley Manor. The Hounds return and Mr Pinkwhistle can not divert them. James knocks the game keeper unconscious, then ties up Tommy and Maggy in a small boat, knocks a hole in it and pushes them out on the lake. They sink beneath the water .

PLOT POINT II

REFER TO EARLIER EXERCISE.

James imagines they are gone & leaves, but Tommy uses the bracelet to cut through the ropes underwater, and he and Maggy swim to a nearby reedbed, where they find Mr P unconscious but alive. They drag him out of the water. They hear James talking about hiding incriminating documents in the clock tower, for his accomplice, a crooked lawyer, to pick up later . Maggy's wet hair reveals her birthmark, and Tommy and Mr P suddenly realise the significance (separately).


What happens between the second turn around and the beginning of ACT III?

Maggy cannot accept that she might be a Foley, she and Tommy fight and he accidentally drops the bracelet. They leap into hiding as James approaches, the butler finds the bracelet in the grass.


ACT III

THE FIGHT WITH YOU ENEMY ENSUES.

Tommy climbs up to the Inn bedroom window and sees James is examining the bracelet with an eyeglass. Mr P pretends to be drunk and herds some noisy geese into the inn and along the corridor , bumping open James' door. As James argues with the disguised Mr P , Tommy and Maggy slip into the room.

In the rush Maggy's dress is caught on a nail and James returns before they can take the bracelet. The two heroes are nearly caught & hide in a wardrobe, where Maggy finds a grand ballgown. She swaps her torn clothes and TOMMY is amazed by the transformation, she looks just like Lady Foley.
James issues orders to his chief henchman to hide & watch the clock tower and make sure Benson finds the documents. Benson will be disguised as the nightwatch, doing his rounds.
MAGGY leaps out of the wardrobe in the middle of the night, pretends to be the ghost of Lady Foley and tricks JAMES into giving up the bracelet.

What happens between the first scene of ACT III and the victory?

Tommy pretends to be the watchman to avoid the watching henchmen, Maggy hides under his cloak as he walks. They reach the tower, but can't find the documents, so they wait in the clock tower until midnight, when the crooked lawyer, BENSON appears, disguised as a watchman. The henchmen are suspicious at two watchmen and start to climb the stairs. Benson retrieves the documents from behind a loose stone in the tower wall.


PLACE YOUR ENDING SCENE HERE

James finds Maggy's discarded clothes, and he realizes he has been tricked. He realize Mr P, Tommy and Maggy will be at the clock tower.


OUTCOME

Tommy is struggling with Benson to grab the documents when the henchmen appear with guns. There is some confusion as they don't know which man is the lawyer. Maggy swings round and grabs a gun, holding the chief henchman hostage.
James shoots Tommy, then is knocked onto the ledge as Benson falls back out of Tommy's grip.
Maggy tries to hold James' hand, but both he and Benson grabs for the bracelet, both fall to their deaths on the cobbles below. Tommy is badly injured.
The London Police and assorted peasantry arrive, having been alerted by Mr Pinkwhistle.
In the grand dress all the local peasantry can see that Maggy looks just like the Foley family,


What happens between the victory and the resolution?

Mr Pinkwhistle tells Maggy and Tommy that he used to be Lady Foley's butler, before James framed him for stealing. He was very fond of Maggy's mother (it is implied he might be Maggy's father) & breaks down in tears as he reveals how Maggy's mother was disowned and died in childbirth after becoming entangled with someone 'beneath her station'.

The London police recognise James's body as a known trickster, wanted for many crimes. A london lawyer who has accompanied the police reads the recovered documents, and they prove that Lady Foley was her grandmother.

RESOLUTION


Maggy and Tommy are married (Tommy with bandage), with Mr P taking her arm as father in the ceremony. They throw a huge feast for the peasants in the nearly rebuilt manor house. Brenda has to watch from the stocks.

#39 aroundworld

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 02:24 AM

Thanks for following up with your own stories, guys! smile.gif

The meat of this exercise was in the first part, but I wanted to see what places you'd pick as key moment, ot places where the story could be expanded on. Thank YOU!

We're almst done with mod 7. One more assignment and will move to mod 8. Sprry for the slower pace this session. Work has put a limit on my availability. I'll post the reading and assignments to marrow.


PLEASE READ OVER THE First place marker exercise. again.


Thanks for your patience and hard work. smile.gif


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#40 aroundworld

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Posted 06 February 2013 - 01:53 AM

OK, before we move to MOD 8, are there any questions you guys have about what we covered?

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