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Clara's Run


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#1 mystery_egypt

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Posted 08 July 2013 - 06:42 PM

Clara is a young patient who doesn't think that she belongs into the psychiatric facility. One night, she has the opportunity to sneak out...

http://www.moviestor...p;vid_id=109458

I hope you like my latest movie, constructive criticism or feedback is welcome smile.gif

#2 rampa

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Posted 09 July 2013 - 03:47 AM

The "quietness" is wonderful! I was riveted right from the get go.

#3 DoublePrimePictures

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Posted 09 July 2013 - 03:27 PM

A wonderful well-staged story


 


#4 primaveranz

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Posted 09 July 2013 - 06:34 PM

QUOTE (rampa @ Jul 9 2013, 3:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The "quietness" is wonderful! I was riveted right from the get go.

Yeah I loved that, and the "looking at the camera". The only thing that spoiled it for me (and this is not your fault mystery_egypt) is the fighting animation. I don't know if I hate that more than the sexy dance or equally wink.gif
Roll on an easy way to customise our own animations!

"If we only use 1/3 of our brain, what's the other 1/3 for?"


#5 mystery_egypt

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Posted 09 July 2013 - 06:42 PM

Thank you very much for your feedbacks!

@primaveranz
Yeah, you're right, I thought about that part, too. I'm not quite happy with it either.
I might figure out a better way (work around) to depict that part in a more suitable/fitting way smile.gif

#6 65radius

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 11:26 AM

QUOTE (mystery_egypt @ Jul 9 2013, 6:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you very much for your feedbacks!

@primaveranz
Yeah, you're right, I thought about that part, too. I'm not quite happy with it either.
I might figure out a better way (work around) to depict that part in a more suitable/fitting way smile.gif


The fight scene really does not belong there. The film is sensitive, introspective, sweet and anguished, extremely well presented and carefully executed. One thing that might have worked better to show the recapture might have involved Shirley Martin's zombie motions ( such as pulling/pushing) to show despair at losing her liberty. A very good film in all other respects!

#7 mystery_egypt

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 07:19 PM

Thank you for your feedback, Ray! smile.gif
Well, she does freak out and hurts people without her medication due to perceiving people as scary creatures, but the "fight style" does not fit.
I'm already working on an updated movie, trying to find a better way.
When I'm done, I'll re-upload the movie.

#8 rampa

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Posted 10 July 2013 - 08:27 PM

Pointing. Screaming. Throwing a fit.

If there was a more surprise attack she could do. Maybe you have her interact with an invisible person in the same location as the person being attacked? Vampire bite?

#9 mystery_egypt

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Posted 12 July 2013 - 12:57 AM

Thanks everyone for your feedback, suggestions and ideas! smile.gif

I have uploaded an edited version of the movie.

#10 65radius

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Posted 13 July 2013 - 04:36 AM

QUOTE (mystery_egypt @ Jul 12 2013, 12:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks everyone for your feedback, suggestions and ideas! smile.gif

I have uploaded an edited version of the movie.


Good job! tongue.gif

#11 rampa

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Posted 13 July 2013 - 10:57 PM

Finally back at home where I can watch you uodated version.

It is far more satisfying with the changes you have made. I'm glad you kept it in the same tone.

#12 mystery_egypt

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Posted 13 July 2013 - 11:04 PM

Thank you!

#13 primaveranz

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Posted 14 July 2013 - 03:38 AM

Yep, much better Mystery wink.gif

"If we only use 1/3 of our brain, what's the other 1/3 for?"


#14 mystery_egypt

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 05:32 PM

Thank you primaveranz smile.gif

#15 kwistufa

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Posted 18 July 2013 - 11:21 PM

Very nice work all round on this Movie Mystery Egypt. Definitely worth the time to watch it. Also I liked your set dressings. smile.gif

#16 mystery_egypt

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Posted 19 July 2013 - 03:22 AM

Thank you very much kwistufa smile.gif


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