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Feedback on this Please

supernatural Sci-Fi

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#1 Klozen



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Posted 26 September 2018 - 09:25 PM

A teenager (Let's call him Marcus) who just started grade 11 had plenty of friends. He was popular, athletic, and people wanted to be him. That is, until his friends pressured him to try a drug that was poisoned with chemicals which his friends did not know. They only knew that got the drugs but didn't know that the person who sold it to them mixed it with chemicals. Marcus was the first one to take the drug and immediately collapsed. He found himself awake in the hospital surrounded by his mom and dad 2 days later. (Skipping to the next important part. I am only doing this so that in between the major parts, you could add your own adaptation to this part.)

Once he was back to school, he started to feel nauseous and fainted in class. He had a vision. He saw that a girl will ask him out, and then the vision turned into darkness. He woke up in the nurse's office. (Skipping to the next important parts)

As the bell rang for the end of the last period, he made his way to his locker until he experienced deja vu. He stopped in his tracks and there was a girl who is also in grade 11, who walked up to him shyly and just said Hi. ( From this point, will be a major gap, here you could also add your adaptation because the next important part will be after Marcus and his, now girlfriend, went on a couple of dates and Marcus had many visions of which were now making him more confused. Especially after he had one of a bank robbery which appeared on t.v.)

Marcus had confirmed that his visions did come true, but he couldn't control them. He received a vision that gang members would meet up in an alleyway, which he went out to explore it and Marcus heard information he shouldn't have. Then one of the gang members saw him and Marcus had to run for his life. The gang members took off after him but Marcus got away fast enough. One of the gang members remembered his face and told everyone to hunt him down. Marcus now realized that curiosity got the best of him and he thought he was safe from the gang until one day while walking with his girlfriend to school, he recognized a face of one of the gang members walking past him as if he was just a stranger.( Skipping to the next important part. Here Marcus could be worried for everyone he knows because he now realizes that the gang was still onto him. )

He had a vision. One that changed his life. His girlfriend was being held hostage. He knew it was bad, he had to try to do everything in his will to prevent it from happening. He called the cops and told them about the gang and the info. The cops believed him because the information was all true about the gang. Marcus did not tell them about his visions. The gang members realized that there are more cops in their area now and knew they had to think fast. They wanted Marcus to pay for what he told the cops. When Marcus tried to contact his girlfriend, it was already too late. His girlfriend did not know what Marcus got himself into and was confused. ( Skipping to next major event)

As Marcus and the cops entered a building which had his girlfriend inside, they breached the door and rushed in to find a gun to his girlfriend's head. ( This can be changed up because this is very stereotypical. If you want you can change this part up. Anyway how I wanted this movie to end is that Marcus received a vision that someone was getting shot in the building. Marcus was the one getting shot and died. This movie doesn't have a happy ending but if you want, change it up.)


So thats my movie idea, I tried to make it special but since I don't want to write a whole essay, I left a few parts and 1 huge part blank for any of your adaptations because you may or may not agree with how it is. This may sound boring to some of you but I'm only doing this for fun, plus I'm 15 years old and full of potential. So I hope I didn't waste your time and enjoy.

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